A Night at the Roxbury
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STEVE & DOUG BUTABI Our heroes. In their minds, Steve is tall, dark and handsome and DOUG is a little genius. Neither is correct -- except for the tall and little part. They simultaneously turn and scope the room. In unison, their heads bop to the MUSIC. Doug steps out from the bar. DOUG (to O.S. female) Hey! You want to dance? No? Yes? Alright, don't worry about it. Doug, rejected, steps back as Steve steps out. STEVE (to O.S. female) Do you want to dance? You do? You don't? Not a problem. They are no strangers to rejection, so neither is fazed. Doug enthusiastically steps towards two attractive girls. DOUG Hey, you wanna...? Two attractive girls turn their backs to Doug. DOUG (remaining positive) No? Maybe I'll see you later. Doug steps back. Steve spots GIRL at end of BAR and dances over to her. STEVE Hey, do you want to dance? GIRL AT BAR No. STEVE (cheerfully) Alright, you know where I'll be. Steve steps back. Doug sees a pretty woman on a balcony, waving to someone. DOUG/STEVE (pointing to each other) You want him? Me? Him? Me? Pretty woman waves them off, frustrated, and disappears. STEVE ... Oh, you're okay? DOUG Alright then. They turn around to the bar, bartender is standing in front of them. STEVE Bartender, can I get a beer? The bartender pays no attention and walks away. Second bartender comes from the opposite direction. DOUG Barkeep, what do you have on tap? The second bartender ignores them, walks away. The bartenders keep crossing past them paying no attention. STEVE Big guy, could I get a... DOUG My man, how 'bout a... STEVE S'cuse me, partner... DOUG Yo, buddy, I was wondering... you know what? Don't worry about it. STEVE Yeah, we're good. They turn back to the dance floor and bop. Suddenly, a HOT GIRL dances in front of them. Doug dances up behind her and frantically gyrates. She turns away -- only to find... Steve gyrating behind her. The guys close in on her trapping her in the middle. HOT GIRL Get off me! She runs off, furious. The guys, unaware that she's upset, celebrate. STEVE/DOUG Score! They high five. The doorman comes over with the upset Girl and pulls the guys out. STEVE/DOUG What? What's goin' on? What's your problem? CUT TO: EXT. SUNSET BLVD. - NIGHT The road flies by as we pan up the front grill of a red BMW to reveal Doug and Steve. The car stops next to two girls in a white Porshe. INT. BMW - NIGHT DOUG We got some sweetness on the left. Doug turns up the STEREO really loud so the car is pounding. STEVE (to the girls) What's up? DOUG (to the girls) How you ladies doin' tonight? INTERCUT GIRLS' POV The guys moving their mouths -- but the girls can't hear them. GIRL #1 Turn your music down! DOUG Yeah! Just follow us! GIRL #2 You're a big stupid ass! STEVE No. You have beautiful eyes! DOUG I like you too! GIRL #1 Go home, jerkoff! STEVE Okay, we'll meet you there. The light turns green. Girls drive off. CUT TO: EXT. ROXBURY CLUB - NIGHT A neon sign reads "ROXBURY." ROXBURY CLUB FRONT DOOR A huge muscular BOUNCER, wearing a headset, guards the roped off area. Doug and Steve confidently strut past the crowd. BOUNCER Stop! DOUG/STEVE What's up? BOUNCER Guys, this is the Roxbury. No one gets in unless you're on the list. DOUG We're on the list. BOUNCER Names? DOUG Doug Butabi. STEVE Steve Butabi. BOUNCER You're brothers? DOUG No... They slowly turn to each other and bust. DOUG/STEVE ... Yes! They high five, laughing. BOUNCER Quite a joke. STEVE Doug is hilarious. DOUG Yeah, I know. BOUNCER Yeah, you ever hear this one? You're not on the list. Behind Steve and Doug, a '98 yellow FERRARI SCREECHES up to the valet. Car door opens and... RICHARD GRIECO gets out. Looking great, in an Armani suit, beautiful supermodel accompanies him. STEVE (beside himself) Is that...? DOUG It is. The King of '21 Jump Street.' Richard Grieco. Grieco quickly steps past Steve and Doug. STEVE (aside to Doug) Check the wheels. DOUG Check the hottie. The Bouncer jumps aside, letting them enter. Richard inadvertently rubs his nose as he enters. accompany- towarzyszyć barkeep- barman bartender- barman bop- tańczyć bust- ponieść klęskę; pokłócić się celebrate- świętować confidently- z przekonaniem, z pewnością siebie fazed- zaniepokojony frantically- gorączkowo frustrated- sfrustrowany, przygnębiony get off me!- zostaw mnie! gyrate- wirować w koło high five- “przybijać piątkę” hilarious- zabawny, wesoły hottie- laska, atrakcyjna dziewczyna in unison- zgodnie, razem, unisono inadvertently- nieumyślnie jerkoff- onanista pay no attention- nie zwracać uwagi positive- przekonany, optymistycznie nastawiony pound- grzmocić pull sb out- wyciągać kogoś rejected- odrzucony rejection- odrzucenie, odmowa remain- pozostawać reveal- odkrywać, odsłaniać, wyjawiać roped off- otoczony liną / taśmą rub- trzeć, pocierać scope- oglądać, rozglądać się screech- piszczeć simultaneously- równocześnie spot- zauważać, spostrzegać step out- wystąpić naprzód strut- dumnie kroczyć tap- kran, kurek trap- schwytac w pułapkę, osaczać unaware- nieświadomy upset- przygnębiony, smutny valet- osobisty służący wave sb off- machać komuś na pożegnanie wave- machać (komuś, do kogoś) TEST
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