Manhattan Murder Mystery
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At the hockey game. LARRY: Come on. CAROL: What? LARRY: You promised to sit through the entire hockey game without being bored and I’ll sit through the Wagner opera with you next week. CAROL: I know, honey, I promised. I know. LARRY: I already bought the earplugs. CAROL: Yeah. Well, with your eyesight I’m surprised you can see the puck. […] House’s apartment. […] PAUL: Now, let me show you a mint 1933 airmail. Very rare... and very beautiful. LARRY: Yeah. PAUL: Look at that. And this plate block is quite unique because it has a flaw in the engraving. See if you can see it. LARRY: Uh, it’s hard for me. PAUL: Actually I’ll give you a little hint. Right down here in the corner. LARRY: That tiny thing there? PAUL: Interesting, yeah. LARRY: Ah, you have a really... PAUL: That makes it quite valuable, you see. And I just got a commemorative set of issues that are going to be quite valuable, too. LARRY: Yes. PAUL: Look at the color, right there. All these are gonna become a real f... LARRY: Well, listen... we’re probably keeping you up, right? PAUL: Oh, no-no-no. This is wonderful. LARRY: I should be going… […] Lipton’s apartment LARRY: Jesus, couldn’t you keep the conversation going a little longer in there? I was signaling you frantically. CAROL: I was just trying to be neighborly. LARRY: Neighborly? If this guy showed me his stamp collection one more time... I mean, my favorite thing in life is to, you know, look at canceled postage. CAROL: Oh, come on, Larry. It was sweet. They, you know, they’re looking forward to their anniversary. LARRY: Oh, and I’m looking forward to seeing that Bob Hope movie. I don’t know why they put it on so late. […] House’s apartment. NEIGHBOR: Sh-She’s dead. LARRY: She-she’s dead? CAROL: Dead? NEIGHBOR: They’re giving Mr House a sedative right now. He’s running around like crazy. […] LARRY: We just met her last night. NEIGHBOR: Awful, just awful. LARRY: What happened? DOCTOR: Well, it was a classic coronary. She just went like that. CAROL: Is there anything we can do? LARRY: Oh, my God. DOCTOR: You can be good neighbors. You know, we calmed him down, uh... LARRY: Th-Th-Th-The first time we saw them was last night. We just met them. W-We had... They invited us in for coffee. NEIGHBOR: Such a... S... Such a nice lady. NEIGHBOR: Nice lady. NEIGHBOR: Sweet person. […] At Elaine’s. SY: I’ll tell you something. I think it’s weird. I mean, listen to this. One night she’s having coffee, and the next night they are carrying her out in a rubber bag. CAROL: Oh, I know, I know. And she did not look like she was ready to go. TED: Maybe this guy killed her, you know? Like, he’s got, like, a young tootsie stashed someplace, or something. LARRY: No, no, not this... you gotta, you gotta see this guy. This guy gets his jollies from licking the back of postage stamps. He’s a-a boring old... TED: Well, I can see that. Yeah, depending on whose picture is on the stamp. CAROL: She never once mentioned that she had a heart condition. LARRY: Well, what is she gonna say? Oh, yeah, hello, I’m Mrs. House and I have a bad heart. CAROL: Well, she had no problem telling me about her hysterectomy in the first five minutes. SY: It is much easier to talk about a hysterectomy than it is to talk about a heart condition. TED: You said she liked...she liked eating high cholesterol desserts. Is that what you said? LARRY: So, she had one too many. CAROL: No. No! She wasn’t on a diet. We discussed diets. LARRY: So she wasn’t on a diet. But... TED: This would be a really great way to kill somebody. SY: How? TED: You clog their arteries with whipped cream, chocolate mousse, butter. They go like that. SY: That’s great. LARRY: […] It’s disgusting. Lipton’s apartment. LARRY: Oh, Christ. Hallo? Yes. Yes, of....Yes, of course you woke us. You know, not everybody’s up at one o’clock in the morning watching the porn channel. I’ll put her on. CAROL: Who is it? LARRY: Ted. For you. CAROL: Ted, hi. TED: I figured out how he killed her and made it look like a coronary. He gagged her and tied her to the treadmill, and then he turned the exercise program up to the Olympic levels. CAROL: No, no. You know, I mean, I just think this guy is too perky. You know, I mean he’s not acting like a man whose beloved of twenty-eight years died just a few days ago. LARRY: Jesus, are you onto that? My God, I thought you were just joking. CAROL: Yeah, I know. LARRY: Let me speak to him, all right? CAROL: What? Oh. Here. Just a sec. Here’s Larr... LARRY: Hey, listen. She was not murdered. She... she had a heart attack. It was a coronary. There was a doctor there. He said to... He was an old man. TED: How do you know it was a real doctor? LARRY: I’m not gonna touch that. I’m tired. I want to go to sleep. Look... TED: Wait-wait-wait a minute, wait a minute, put Carol back on, I called about something else. […] House’s apartment. PAUL: Hi. How are you? CAROL: Hi. How are you? PAUL: Oh, my... CAROL: These are my floating islands. I hope you like meringue. PAUL: I love it. Come on in, come on in. CAROL: Well, okay. […] PAUL: I’ll I make some coffee. Please. CAROL: No, no, no. Look, I’ll make the coffee. That’d be better. Let me make it. PAUL: Oh, you’ve already done so much. CAROL: No, no. I insist, I insist. Go on, sit down, relax. PAUL: Aren’t you nice. […] I’d get away from here. From this place and all its memories. LARRY: Uh uh, so you have someone to go with, or are you... PAUL: I have a brother in Florida. LARRY: Oh, really? PAUL: I’m hoping he can get away for a while. LARRY: Good. It’s a good idea. PAUL: Do you like snorkeling? LARRY: Snorkeling? No, no. I get nervous when brightly colored fish are staring at me face to face, you know. PAUL: Hey, I’ve got some stamps I wanted to show you. LARRY: Oh, stamps. Well, that’s... […] Lipton’s apartment. […] CAROL: Okay, just... I was in the kitchen okay? And I was making the coffee. There were no beans, so, I was looking in his cupboards, just to see, you know, and I came across this urn, okay? And I opened it and there were ashes in it. LARRY: Ashes? Funeral ashes? Did you wash your hands? CAROL: Larry, he had her cremated! LARRY: How did you know it was her, for Christ’s sake? They were ashes. What, did they resemble Mrs. House? CAROL: Oh, and who else would it be, okay? LARRY: Anybody. Could it be, an associate, an old relative, his accountant, his cat. Who knows? […] CAROL: You know, Ted’s gonna check with the funeral home, tomorrow. LARRY: Great. CAROL: You know what I mean? I mean, I don’t understand why you’re not, not more fascinated with this. We could be living next door to a murderer, Larry. LARRY: Well, New York is a melting pot. You know, get used to it. CAROL: Oh my God. LARRY: Hey, are you okay? CAROL: Larry. Larry, I heard a noise. I-I-I heard a noise in the hallway, so I just...I...You know, I-I looked and I think...I think Mr. House was getting on the elevator. LARRY: Yeah? You’re sure? CAROL: Yeah, you know, I was... I’m-I’m... almost certain that it was him. LARRY: So-So-So what? CAROL: Just, you know... I mean, who else could it be? LARRY: So what? It’s not a crime. He can get on the elevator. CAROL: I know. I know. But wh-who would it be at one-thirty in the morning? LARRY: Oh, Jesus. I was in a deep sleep. What-What’s the difference? CAROL: But, you mean, you know how we’re always complaining about living on the geriatric floor. Do you know what I’m saying? LARRY: All right, so it was Mr. House. So he got on the elevator. It’s not a felony. The guy pays rent. He’s entitled. I mean, what... Can you go back to bed? This is crazy. You woke me up out of a deep sleep. I gotta get up early tomorrow morning. CAROL: I know what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna ring him up. I’m gonna ring his apartment. I’m gonna see if he’s home. LARRY: You’re gonna ring Mr. House, now? […] This is insane. What’s gotten into you? CAROL: I don’t know. What is he doing? Where is this guy at one-thirty in the morning? You know what I’m saying? LARRY: It’s not your business. He can go any place he wants. […] House’s apartment. TED: Hallo? CAROL: Ted...I’m in his apartment. The urn is missing. It’s gone. Yeah, I think it might have been. He had this satchel last night. He was carrying this bag, and I think that might have been what he had in his satchel. TED: Listen, I’d get out of there right away, if I were you. No, no, no. Go, go, go. We’ll do...We’ll talk more from your apartment. CAROL: He’s not going snorkeling with his brother. He’s got two tickets to Paris, and he’s got reservations at the Georges Cinq Hotel with a woman named Helen Moss. In the street. LARRY: What do you mean, you snuck into his apartment? Are you nuts? CAROL: Oh, stop being such a fuddy-dud. LARRY: A fuddy-dud? CAROL: Yeah. LARRY: What are you talking about? That’s a crime. You can’t do that. You... That’s-That’s burglary and breaking and entering. But... What has gotten into you lately? For crying out loud, save a little craziness for menopause. CAROL: It was a cinch. I took the key and I just let myself in. LARRY: Hey, look. Do... I don’t want to... You-You’ll wind up rooming with John Gotti. You can’t do that. You can't just steal the key and then go into somebody’s apartment. CAROL: Listen. He’s not going snorkeling with his brother, okay? Okay? LARRY: I don’t wanna know. I don’t wanna be an accessory. CAROL: He’s going to Paris, to a fancy hotel with a woman named Helen Moss. LARRY: Tell Ted. I don’t want to know. Leave me alone. CAROL: I told Ted. LARRY: You told Ted before you told me? CAROL: Yeah. He’s more open-minded about these things. LARRY: Yes, I know. I’m-I’m-I’m a bore. I’m-‘Cause I-‘Cause I don’t break the law, you know? CAROL: Yeah. LARRY: I live within the Constitution, so I’m dull. CAROL: Listen. Perhaps he got rid of the urn, okay? LARRY: I-I don’t wanna hear. Leave me alone. Don’t tell me. CAROL: He talked on the phone with a woman. LARRY: How do you know? CAROL: Because he... Well, he came back while I was there, you know, so... LARRY: He did? CAROL: Yeah, but I hid under the bed. LARRY: You hid under his bed? CAROL: He didn’t see me, Larry. He didn’t see me at all. LARRY: I cannot believe this. My stomach is curdling, here I... CAROL: He was-He was very lovey-dovey with his kind of bimbo, you know? He kept saying stuff like, you know, ‘don’t worry, it’s gonna be all right. We’re gonna be together.’ - That kind of thing. […] LARRY: He could have looked under the bed and there you are. What do you... CAROL: Yeah, but...Larry, listen. And then, listen to this. He-He called this woman back. Probably this-this Helen Moss woman, right? LARRY: I don’t wanna know. Leave me alone. […] CAROL: I thought I did a great job, and so did Ted. I don’t think a private eye could have done any better than me. I put everything back where I found it, I was very careful. I made one mistake. LARRY: What? CAROL: I left my reading glasses on his table… VOCABULARY: accessory - współwinny accountant - księgowy Are you nuts? - Czy ci odbiło? ashes - prochy bimbo - lalunia burglary - włamanie cinch - łatwizna, it is a cinch - to małe piwo to clog - zatkać commemorative - pamiątkowy coronary - /heart attack/ zawał serca dull - /boring/ nudny earplugs - zatyczki do uszu engraving - grawerunek face to face - twarzą w twarz felony - ciężkie przestępstwo flaw - skaza, wada, in sth - na czymś For crying out loud! - Na litość boską! fuddy-dud - [fuddy-duddy] wapniak to get one’s jollies doing sth - mieć dobrą zabawę to get rid of - pozbyć się He gagged her and tied her to the treadmill - zakneblował ją i przywiązał do bieżni hysterectomy - histerektomia (wycięcie macicy) I came across - wpadłam na, napotkałam I insist - nalegam I was signaling you frantically - dawałem ci znaki jak oszalały I’ll give you a little hint - dam ci małą wskazówkę I’m a bore - jestem nudziarzem I’m looking forward to seeing . . . - nie mogę się doczekać, kiedy zobaczę . . . lovey-dovey - tkliwy i czuły meringue - beza mint - mennica my stomach is curdling - ściska mnie w żołądku neighborly - [Br.E. neighbourly] życzliwy, przyjazny; dobrosąsiedzki New York is a melting pot - a place where people from different races, countries, or social classes come to live together perky - radosny, żwawy, dziarski; zuchwały private eye - prywatny detektyw puck - krążek hokejowy to resemble - przypominać, być podobnym do satchel - torba na ramię save a little craziness for menopause - zachowaj trochę szaleństw na menopauzę sedative - środek uspokajający to snorkel - nurkować to stare at sb - gapić się na kogoś to stash - schować they are carrying her out in a rubber bag - wynoszą ją w plastikowym worku this is insane - to szaleństwo tootsie - inf. laleczka valuable - cenny, wartościowy we’re probably keeping you up - zapewne chcecie iść już spać weird - dziwny, dziwaczny What’s gotten into you? - Co w ciebie wstąpiło? TEST
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